Life, or something close to it.

"When I was still a rather precocious young man, I already realized most vividly the futility of the hopes and aspirations that most men pursue throughout their lives.”- Albert E.


The world spans 12,756 kms in diameter; I am less than six feet tall. The universe has been in existence for more than 12 billion years, I will be 22 years old soon. The world itself is no bigger than a miniscule pebble in the universe. It is to the universe, what a grain of sand is to us: irrelevant. And you and I share this small piece of rock, which meanders around the sun in weary repetition, with six billion other people. So is there even a sliver of a chance for us to attach some sort of significance to our lives.

Nothing lasts in this world. In the long run, everything comes to an end. Death is the ultimate tragedy, the final victory of time over our fragile bodies. Inevitable, unavoidable and inescapable. The only true destiny of our lives. And the reason why all we tend to do is eventually meaningless. The rules we make, the promotions we achieve, the treasures we enmass, what good are they when we are no longer around to enforce them, to celebrate them, to enjoy them. What we can achieve with our lives is infinite and what we do achieve is pitiable. We want innumerable things, but the concise nature of our lives leaves us with unfulfilled wishes, unsatisfied lives and a bitter disposition. What reason was there to do all that we did? What purpose did our life fulfill? We persevere day after day, following empty instructions and for what reason?

Do not look for the meaning of life. Your search will be ceaseless, you’re better off searching for the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. There is no higher purpose, no deeper significance. You weren’t born to do anything except the things you want, you aren’t supposed to anything except the things you wish, you aren’t destined for anything except to die, same as me. You might do very well in your life, even change the way of the world, but that will not be because it was what you were born to do but because it was what you chose to do. There is no reason to be found within your soul, just questions and more questions. Why should we go through the motions, struggle and strive, for a reason that will be worthless, just to live in a wretched present, scavenging of the glory of the past and hoping for a better future but ready to accept the opposite? Why does courage leave us when we need it the most? Why are we unable to find a purpose, a cause to devote ourselves? Why can’t we push ourselves harder to chase our ever elusive dreams? Why are our dreams so ridiculous? How do we trade our instinct to secure a future with a conviction that lets us believe that in actuality our present is vital? Questions and more questions. Where do we even begin our search? All we do, all we accomplish will not justify our lives unless it’s our judgment we seek. If we can be proud of the life we lived, without letting our judgment be influenced by anyone else, then our purpose of life has been fulfilled. The people that surround you will never think you’ve lived a life worthy unless you bring world peace. But they don’t matter. You need to be selfish and find your private meaning of life. You may want to fight for the freedom of your country risking your life in battle or you may want to earn lots of money and relax in your mansion without caring for the world. What purpose can there be in earning loads of money, just to perish in a golden bed or dying for your country just so it can be ruled by corrupt politicians? Who cares, if that’s the life you want then that’s the life you want. It’s always supposed to be your choice. If you scale the heights of success or drown in the depths of failure, it should be a result of your choice. Success and failure are but the end of a journey. And it will only be worthy if it was a journey you chose. All we need in life is a direction. Its our journey beginning in the day we were born, ending in the day we die. It’s just a passage of time. We were born, we’re alive and we’ll die. That is the ultimate truth. We may not the save the world from global warming or cure cancer but we can try if we want. Or we can do anything else we want, without wondering if its our destiny but just because we feel like doing it. We do not have to prove to the world we’ve lived worthy lives, just ourselves.

The reality of life is harsh. We struggle for a cause that doesn’t seem worth the struggle and strive for a future that will never be what we hope. Every day we carry on, knowing that tomorrow won’t be better than today but we do not stop because under the most squalid circumstances we are capable of hope. Hope without logic, without reason. Our fault does not lie in our ability to hope but in our inability to act. We are quick to hope but tentative when we are called into action. We trudge through the repeated, unremitting motions of our existence day after day, hoping for something better but never doing anything to effect a change, just because it’s the way of the world. We rely on tradition, culture, and normalcy. We have forgotten our ability of original thought. We fail to build individual principles, our notions of truth and lies. What we hold as right and wrong, aren’t what we experienced from life. No, they are the convictions of the people who brought us up. We are but mere mirrors of the beliefs of those who sheltered us, and they of theirs who nourished them. It's wrong to cheat, it's wrong to steal, it's wrong to fight. We’ve all been taught and we've accepted without question. It wasn't what we experienced. If we were just allowed to learn it ourselves maybe we would've come to the conclusion that lying isn’t so bad, it gets me out of difficult situations, stealing isn’t so bad I get things for free, cheating isn’t so bad, I get more than what my effort deserved. But we were told these the wrong paths of life, a path we shouldn't play with. So, we try our best to stay far, to stay 'right' and we follow what we’ve been taught, which is good as long as it’s actually right. But we were also taught about the cast system, about every superstition we so arduously follow, about why we should stay away from the untouchables, about why cast comes before love, why faith in God should be without question. Are we not capable of thinking that to discriminate without reason is not rational, that race and cast are illogical, that blind faith in God is what the terrorizes of our era use as their main ammo. We were educated about the flaws of these practices. But the education system of our times is a laughable affair. We do not study to know new things, to understand our subject of choice. We study to pass in examinations. It's not knowledge we're after, it's marks. The thing which is supposed to be our greatest inspiration for original thoughts fails us. What greatness can we achieve if we study about the lives of great men not to get inspired but because it’s important for a short note in examination.
From the day we were capable of original thoughts we've been told what to think. From the day we were capable of individual action we've been told what to do. From the day we were capable of leading we've been told to follow. From the day we were capable of freedom, we've been held captive.
Ours is the thinking mind, the curious mind, the rational mind, a mind capable of amazing discoveries. We can change the way of the world if we take a moment to think, not just play in our minds what we've been taught but actually ponder about the working mechanism of the world. We should take pride in our sense of curiosity and our ability of action. How much more time do we need to understand things need to change with time. We keep moving through, pass each day in detestable normalcy, our potential rotting within the confines of a typical life. This practice that continued unquestioned through generations has now become a habit and will soon turn into an instinct. And then it will be within our genes to fight not to live, but to exist, to struggle not to think but to accept what has been told.
We fight our every instinct that drives us towards freedom, drives towards a cliff and pushes us off into undiscovered lands. We who are yet unaware if our wings are made of feather or of wax. We who might crash and burn or soar through the heights of ecstasy. A dive into the unknown, to not just learn but to experience and build an original perspective. But we dare not follow our freedom path. We hold on to the enticing thread of security that keeps us from plunging into an abyss, an abyss filled with the insane and the genius. An original thought is never a normal thought, and an abnormal thought is never considered a sane thought. That is the price we have to pay for originality. We are either followers of rules of society or we are insane. In this practice of normalcy we've become mere slaves not permitted a thought of originality. We've forgotten in the crowd of society that we are first and foremost individuals. We are capable of questioning the facets of society we feel aren’t right. We need not follow everything society orders us to. A society that is archaic, ragged, and obsolete. We are capable of thought. It’s about time we began thinking.

While watching ‘Jailed Abroad’ in NGC a couple of days ago, I heard what has got to be one of the strangest, if not the strangest thing ever. The episode was about a major who goes to Sierra Leone to disarm the local rebels. When in Sierra Leone he is guided to the disarmament camp by a Colonel of the rebels. Having heard about cannibalism in Sierra Leone, the British major at the risk of being rude asks the Colonel, if he had eaten any human flesh. The colonel replies ‘Yes.’ No expression in his face, no cringe, no hesitation. A simple yes, as if the question he was asked was if he ate chicken. Having heard rumors that human flesh tastes a lot like pork, the major unable to curb his curiosity asks if it’s true, “Do we taste like pork?” The colonel looked at him with visible incredulity. This was the question he considered to be more offensive. He replies, “I do not know. I’m Muslim.” That’s what he said; he doesn’t eat pork because he’s Muslim. He has no problems with devouring human flesh, but pork? That is out of the question. What kind of a human being would eat pork? He answered these questions as if there were no other answers that could be right. There was no guilt felt at the thought that eating human flesh was wrong. What there was, was a lack of guilt at the thought that what he did was in fact right. It seemed a perfectly appropriate to him. Pork? Are you crazy, of course not. Human meat? Yes, please. The hypocrisy that is ever present in every human culture is absolutely amazing.