Life, or something close to it.

This is just a short story, not a life experience or anything like that. Maybe a few thoughts of mine are portrayed, but its nothing negative like I tend to be. So enjoy.

In The End...

He was the genius of our class. He used to ask questions that would baffle me. That would have baffled the teacher, though being the shy kind; he never did ask the teachers. I always wanted to see how the teachers would react when he did. He was not book-smart, okay, he was not only book-smart but an actual out the box thinker. He would question almost everything that we were taught. Every explanation led to another question, which meant to him, a chance for further knowledge. It was amazing to listen to his big ideas, his visions, his meanings, his perspectives, his thoughts. We were 17 then. Eleventh standard. And we were best friends. His thoughts were so profound, so intense that after 8 years of growing up, I am a bit ashamed to admit, I still cannot think the way he did all those years ago. His thoughts were philosophical, insightful, deep, and so many other great adjectives that I can’t remember right now. I’m sure he can. He used to be alone most of the time, because he couldn’t really be interested in our trivial conversations. He always wanted to talk about life and purpose and the things I am beginning to understand now. He wasn’t wearisome though. We used to watch football together, he and I. Even on exam nights. I remember a game when United were playing Chelsea, and United played no good and lost. And he before actually celebrating his undeserved victory, he tried to console me. I wouldn’t have done the same. He was something else. “Life is all about happiness,” he used to say, “and nothing more. All we are looking is for a way to be happy.”
Things changed a bit in the next class. We grew older, a bit wiser from all our mistakes, so did his genius brain. He was able to embrace another emotion in his head, though everyone says this was more a matter of the heart. He fell in love. She was vibrant, optimistic, altruistic, a flower child, beautiful. And totally out of his league or she should have been. But it turned out he could be quite charming when the circumstances called for it. So slowly she fell in love too. They found their utopia between her sanguinity and his rationalism. It was wonderful, grand and fantastic, till adversities threatened to disturb the sanctity of their personal heaven. Parents. They wouldn’t hear any of it. After years of development, evolution, preaching equality, justice and all that goes with it, still it was the castes of the two that mattered most to them. For him and her, it was the most stupid of reasons. And on the evening of the day our results were announced, they vanished into thin air. Even I didn’t know where he had gone. Even during this most absurd of times, he still somehow managed to keep his thoughts coherent, perhaps this was the time he needed it most. I always wondered why he did it. I know love is wonderful, something few are lucky to get. But his brain, his thoughts, they are almost impossible. He could’ve cured cancer or something. I was unable to understand how he could give up so much. And all this, for a girl. She was beautiful, she was wonderful but he had the world at his feet. When we are young everyone tells us we can become anything we want to be, which is a blatant lie, but a necessary lie. If we were to realize how concise our opportunities in life really are when we were young, we would become depressed too early, which would spoil the depressive fun of late teenage, where depression really belongs. You want to become an engineer and a sports star? Of course you can, till you are twelve. Then it’s a choice between this and that, which is the beginning of the end. But if you were to tell him, “you can become anything you want to be.”, it would have been true. And he let it go, everything, just like that. A whole important life wasted.
Seven years after that, I became a doctor. Nothing big, just a MBBS graduate. And a few of us went to celebrate our entry into the true medicine field. It was a small bar. I saw him there. He was a waiter. I became uncomfortable, I wanted to leave. Here was my friend, who would have definitely become the most important graduate from our school, and he was about to serve me my drink. How would I even manage to look him in the eye? I felt embarrassed of my achievement; because everyone knew he deserved it more than me. If the world were spinning right, he would have been ordering the drink and me taking down his orders. I looked away. He said hi. Didn’t I remember him? He was almost the perfect person you could meet. We keep talking about how every human being should behave, about dignity of labor but the moment I saw him in a waiter’s shirt, I was uncomfortable. But not him, he saw an old friend and greeted him. It didn’t matter, if he was a waiter, a janitor or a king. Before being a customer, I was his friend. He saw that, I didn’t. Though I was embarrassed and perhaps sad for him, it was I who made the difference between the doctor and the waiter, not him. I saw a friend who had become a waiter, who had never achieved his potential, who had never lived up to expectations. I saw a friend who had gone awry. I saw a friend who wasn’t able to prioritize properly. Quite frankly, I saw a friend who had wasted his life. He? He saw a friend.
After we exchanged our hellos, he, quite simply, asked us what we wanted. From that moment on he became our waiter, nothing else. Strictly professional. By the time we finished, we were the last ones left. When the time came leave, I told my friends, I’ll stay back for a while. They agreed. They were drunk, they didn’t care. I wanted to talk to him. He came out in a pair of jeans and t-shirt and sat across me. “So doctor, huh? That’s nice.” he said. “Yeah, it’s nothing. So how have you been?” I didn’t want to talk about me.
“I’ve been great. Life is good.” That’s what he said. Those were his exact words. Life is good. Life. Is. Good. And even then I didn’t think he was lying. How could his life be good? His was a life destined for greatness, not serving dinner to rich idiots. It was such a waste. There was so much he could’ve done. Serving drinks to me wasn’t what his life was supposed to be. Life is good, that’s what he said.
“Wait a bit, I have something that will get us talking.” Saying that, he walked back inside the kitchen. I knew what he was about to bring. From Russia with love we used to say, when we were young and the world belonged to us. The two of us would finish a whole bottle. I wondered if he remembered that. He came back, in his hand a 750 ml bottle of Vodka. He sat down. He smiled. From Russia with love. He said. And then in silence we had a two glasses, waited for the magic to work. It took about four minutes. After that we started talking. And after all these years of growing up and understanding the way of the world, he still managed to amaze me. I hassled him about his potential, about his brains, about what he could have done, about what his life could have been. He was rational, once. Why did he let go of so much for a girl, for love? There are always a few things that transcend even the power of love. He knew that, he always knew that.
“All those promises, all those expectations weren’t mine.” he began, “ Becoming a successful person with great degrees was always what everyone else wanted of me. It was never what I wanted. They saw my future for me, they predicted my life. But I didn’t know what I wanted then, how could anyone else. It changed after I met her. The one you so casually call, just a girl. You don’t know her like I do. I used to tell you life is about the pursuit of happiness. And well, she makes me happy. I know I am not as smart as I could be, I am not as rich as I could be, I am not as learned as I could be but who cares about what I could be? All that matters is what I am and I am happy. And let me tell you I am happier than I ever thought I would be. So you think it was irrational of me to have done what I did, but look at it through my eyes. It was the most rational decision I have taken. In society’s eyes, yes I was stupid. If I had done what was expected of me, I would have become an example to be followed. I would have been praised and society would have been happy. But society doesn’t know me. Doesn’t know what I want. My life was always simple. My thoughts always were simple. I wanted to be happy. And when the time came, there wasn’t even a choice to be made. I don’t think I have sacrificed anything. In fact I haven’t gotten more out of life than I deserved. And there’s nothing I would change. All those plaudits, all those praises, what use would they have been to me? I don’t want to be worried about what everyone else thinks of me. Shouldn’t what I think of myself matter more? And I think I was right. It is my life and I lived it the way I wanted. I didn’t let expectations of others dictate me. I did what I thought would make me happy. And it worked out more than fine.”
I kept quiet. I thought he was selfish. He denied the world his brilliance, he shouldn’t have done what he did. But he was right. It was his life. He is allowed to do what he wants with it. His thoughts were always so wide. After hearing what he said I wondered if I had lived my life that way. If I was headed for happiness? I wasn’t sure. I was doctor now. And for everyone else, I have done something with my life. But when I ask myself, is this what I always wanted to do, all I hear is silence. His thoughts were still light years ahead of mine. But as we sat talking about old times, I felt proud that I knew a friend like him. He was brave enough to think for himself. He was brave enough to do what he wanted. He was brave enough to live his life. He was my friend. He is my friend and he still, is a genius.