Today was the first shower of the new season. What ensued was a tree torn apart, three hours of darkness and a drenched me. But it was all worth it, to feel the irrational joy of getting wet in the simple but heavenly drops of water that rushed down upon me, to forget for those few moments of unexplainable madness, everything that able to bring me down so easily and to feel alive in the moment at hand without what I regret and without what I’ve been promised. It’s an extraordinary feeling from such a dull, vapid and ordinary event. In truth, it is nothing more than the water cycle that we had to study so many times in our school years. Water evaporates, cools down and then precipitates. Two plus two equals four. But there are things that transcend the rational thinking. Somehow it is difficult to include the liberating outcome of rain within the confines of the tangible explanations of reason. How can anyone explain the freedom, the joy, and the euphoria of a simple February rain? Such things aren’t rational. But being rational is never that fun, getting wet in the rain however, is. And fun is highly underrated. What happens next? A cold? A cough? Pfff, bring it ON! All worth it. Anyway, here’s a poem I wrote about it.
The first shower
The burdening heat, the unrelenting cold.
The endless reminders of dreams I’ve sold.
I remember it all in cruel clarity,
In every hated bead of sweat, in every shiver of regretted sanity.
Give me a drop of freedom,
A potion to take away the pain.
A drug to numb my senses,
An evening of heavenly rain.
Let it rain tonight without a pause,
Let it drown all that I ever was.
Let it break my chains and set me free.
And let me decide who I will be.
The rain washes away old mistakes,
It directs me to paths un-tread.
It saves my soul and if only for a moment
It awakens in me what I thought was dead.
Drenched in this cathartic shower,
There is no future, there is no past.
Everything I have, began this moment
And it will remain till the moment lasts.
‘Such stupid notions, such ridiculous ideas.
A molecule of water could never do what you claim.
It's just a down pour of a futile liquid.
Your thoughts are indicators of an unstable brain.’
You'd never understand the absolving power,
Of a simple joyous evening rain.
I’d give up the remainder of my sanity,
Just to feel this way again.
The rain stops, a fresh breeze invades.
A deep breath to mark a new start.
The moment has passed, a new one begins.
But is there courage still left in my heart?
Can I carry on after the rain?
Fight on against the heat and cold.
Will all that I fear haunt me again?
Or will I decide how my life unfolds?
Posted by Marred
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11:03 AM
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So, apparently there are 1411 tigers left in India. It’s a sad thing to know. We live in a time when the ugly human population has become unbearable and the magnificent tigers are approaching extinction. The situation I admit is not ideal, but this horribly shocking news is unfortunately nothing more than a mere trivia to me. For being under circumstances that I am in, there isn’t much I can do. In fact if I were in a free world where I was able to pursue the path I chose, I don’t believe saving tigers would be my priority. Sure I support the cause to save them, but in my own passive way. I am not a champion for their cause, I never will be. I feel bad for them but my feeling bad from this distance doesn’t help a single one of those 1411 tigers, and I will not pretend to think that it does. I can promise that I will not kill a tiger if I get the chance, but I wasn't really a threat to begin with. I'm writing a blog to spread awareness, but you who are reading this most probably aren’t ruthless tiger hunters either. So where do I stand in this fight for the preservation of the striped cat? Nowhere to be honest. I write a blog, spend some minutes in front my computer screen, feel bad and then I look on as the countdown continues. Nothing changes. To be involved, really involved we will have to begin a crusade and fight for the rights of those exploited felines and put in a true struggle. And the brutal truth is I’m not that bothered about it. I do not mean to say that everyone shares my views. There are more than a few who are truly spearheading this thoughtful cause. Unfortunately I am not one of them. I am the modern 21st century man. I'll phone the ISP office and shout and threaten them if my internet is not working for an hour but when I read about the concisely finite numbers of tigers left, I will get shocked, I will say that’s too bad and I’ll continue browsing my high speed broadband internet.
When asked about the situation the tigers face, everyone likes to say "there'll come
a time when I’ll have to show my kids pictures and movies of tigers." I find that is such an idiotic sentence to make. I've been alive for 21 years now, and years ago when the tiger population wasn’t this alarming I hadn’t seen a tiger in the wild, when there are 1411 left now I won’t see one in the wild, and irrelative of whether the number increases or decreases I still will not see one in the wild. The only ones I see will either be in a zoo or yup, in movies and pictures. They are not there for us to see them. They have a right to survive. To say we are fighting to keep them alive so we can exhibit them for the next generation is simply wrong and demeaning. We help them because they are facing a danger they are incapable of fighting. We save them because this is as much their planet as it is ours.
The message I try to spread through this blog is admittedly useless. When a poacher wants to kill, he'll kill. It doesn’t matter how many are left. His greed for material goods will make him see the insignificance of the life of an inferior creature. He'll feel no guilt. When the bad and the worse side of the human conscience are in a battle the worse side always presents the more profitable option. Greed is a more powerful force than compassion. To save the tigers we have to fight the poachers. Either the poachers become extinct or the tigers do. We have to stop encroaching on their jungle. There's a line that separates the jungle from the city, the wild from civilization and harmony will ensue if we both keep to our sides.
I accept that the effort that I put in through this blog is futile. And yet, I do not write this just for the sake of writing, just so I can feel better about myself. Somehow I hope it will bring a change somewhere. Maybe it'll bring a cascade effect of a vast dispersal of awareness of the fact that there's fight going on. Probably not. Right now I represent a contradiction of emotion. I understand my efforts are futile and yet even in my futile efforts I can find an irrational hope for a change. I guess that's what being human is. Gandhi said, 'Everything we do is futile but we must do it anyway.' Who am I to argue with Bapu?
If you want to help visit www.saveourtigers.com
Posted by Marred
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8:27 AM
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John Terry has been in the news lately courtesy of his misdemeanors and such. But why is it that we are so quick to point our fingers at him for doing what he did. He is a human being like any of us, susceptible to mistakes, enticed by temptations. And to put it simply, he can do what he wants in his private life. That is why it is called a private life. What business is it of ours? Is he a celibate monk who forgot his religion? No, he is not. He is a footballer. And the only thing we can condemn him for is if he screws up things in football. A horrendous tackle to break an opponent’s leg, we could chastise him for that. But no, not for this. Sensationalizing things at the expense of the peace of mind of another human being is simply wrong. Okay yes, in our eyes what he did was wrong. But it was not us he wronged. The matter at hand is for the people, who are involved in it directly, to solve. He owes us nothing but a good performance in the football field. And nobody can question John Terry’s performance. Every time he steps in the hallowed turf, he is captain fantastic. A captain has to be a leader and John Terry is a leader. The relationship we share with footballers begins in the field and ends in the field. His affairs, his transgressions, his mistakes, it’s not for us to judge. We are football fans not some gossip mongers. We are interested the 90 minutes he spends with us every weekend. What he does for the rest of the week is his life. The media will do what it has to get readers. And we being human beings are always more interested in the fall of a hero than the rise of a pauper. We feel good to see the black smears across the previously impeccable colors that decorated a champion’s character. But this is not the right way.
Of course, John Terry is a role model. He is an idol for children. And obviously we are worried about how children would react when they understand the lapse of their hero. But aren’t we the immediate role models of the children around us? What will they understand when they see their elders praise and worship someone for his admirable determination, and in the next moment they leave his side and point fingers at him and condemn him? Such swift changes of opinions swayed by a few printed words in the gossip columns of a hungry newspaper. Is that who we are?
I am not a big supporter of John Terry but that’s because he plays for a rival team. And I will denounce him and scream my lungs out, for every tackle he gets wrong. But never for what he does in his non-football life. I know him as a footballer. A proper footballer. And I respect his commitment for his team. His private life is his private life. We only share the blissful realm of the football world and I will not lose my respect because of some stupid things he did. We are all vulnerable to stupidity. And this is after all a world cup year.
If you don’t agree with all of this and still chastise Terry for what he did, I have one question to ask. Its hypothetical but with possibilities of turning into a very real scenario. In July the 11th, the World Cup Final, when England are playing Argentina and Lionel Messi is racing through the ‘D’ area and there is only one chance for a defender to make a last ditch tackle, which England defender would you want to make that tackle?
Posted by Marred
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12:40 AM
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