Life, or something close to it.

The sun seeks its revenge on this small piece of land. The heat is troublesome and at times even stifling. The city however persists. She keeps moving on, and day after day I can feel her empathy rising for me. She feels everything that's happening inside me. She relates. She has gone through the same thing. It’s the same suffocating warmth for both of us every day, the same few minutes of soothing wind, the same moments of escape filled with music or silence till life brings everything back to reality and sends us into another day of turbulent thoughts. The same regret that laughs at us with blatant mockery. Every day. She's lived through it all, with promises of eternal repetition and I can feel her sympathy raining down on me, urging me to do anything possible before it's too late. And it's her perception of when the time has passed for me beyond recovery that I wait for. It’s strange a life she lives. Outside she shows a facade of blissful ignorance. She seems exuberant with civilized tastes, boisterous lightings and jubilant exhaustion. We both know that every bit of this is an elaborate pretence, a sick charade. And for what? She doesn't know, neither do I. She seems happy and yet I can feel her bleeding inside, just like me. Wasting away from within, with scars from regrets that run deep enough to etch out the misery of her existence. How she wishes to just fade away and be alone with herself, to not be something other than what she feels she is. But she stays, for her numerous children, who look to her for every single need. All her wishes crumble and the severance of her chains to set her free is put off, once again.

But how long will she be able to live like this? How long will she go on wishing to go back to the time when she was just a child and everything was just the way it should be? Green and full of promises. How long before she puts it all to rest? Everything's come too far for her, she is beyond the horizon now, and I feel her gaze on me, urging me to do what she didn't. And yet I continue, slowly dragging myself in the same road to perdition, where she and I will live out the rest of our days, exchanging philosophies with bitterness and misery embedded in our hearts. The journeys of our lives entwined and promise to merge, taking away one smile at a time. The cruelty bestowed on this fragile life is almost inhumane.